While we love and look forward to a good hotel stay, there are more than a few quirks about them that can, quite frankly, annoy us. Towel art, for one. Why, hotels? Why? We think our overnighters would be slightly improved if they cut out the following irritating things. See if you agree...

Quickly lost, hard to activate and oh-so-easily deactivated. Key cards seem designed simply to stress hotel guests out. While we realise that they're safer, easily programmable and cheaper than actual keys to replace, we've lost count of the amount of times we've struggled to see that magic green light and it's not just because we put it in our pocket by our phone. They're also incredibly easy to lose. Until we get home and find several have slipped behind something in our wallet...

While many swanky hotels have Nespresso machines for that morning caffeine hit, the humble miniature kettle is all-too-often overlooked. This is a non-negotiable facility for tea drinking types. Even if there is a kettle, there's unlikely to be fresh milk and, horror of horrors, some mean hoteliers even charge for teabags.

Lumpy, bumpy, flat as a pancake, built like a boulder or (shudder) sausage-shaped. The quality of a hotel's pillows can make or break a good night's sleep. Some fancy hotels have dedicated pillow menus, while we don't expect all hotels to offer this luxury, a decent firm but soft pillow is surely not too much to ask.

Why is it that hotel hairdryers are almost universally useless? It will take hours on end to dry your hair with that pathetic waft of air from the on-the-wall dryer. Also, the hairdryer is one of the most germ-ridden parts of a hotel room as it's rarely cleaned. Maybe we’ll pack our own next time.

Talking of blow-drying hair, a power socket by a mirror would be perfect. There might be mirrors in the bathroom (where plugs are a no-go and steam a problem) but many hotel rooms are sorely lacking in other ones. A small mirror at a desk and a full-length wall mounted one is the dream.

Playing hide and seek with a plug socket seems to be par for the course in most hotel rooms. Why put one next to the bed when you could put it behind the chest of drawers? Why have one next to the mirror so you can dry/straighten your hair when it could be over by the door? Awkward electric socket placement is a common hotel bugbear. However, the addition of USB ports next to the bed for phones, tablets and cameras is a trend we warmly welcome.

Another "fun" hotel room game to play is match the remote control to the device. We're often puzzled by the sheer number of remotes that a small hotel room seemingly needs. Sticky, slow remote controls are another issue, as is the alarming news that they are the most contaminated items in a hotel room. Actually, maybe we'll skip trying to turn on the TV/air-con altogether.

Some hotel rooms come with a ludicrous amount of lamps too. And usually they're all switched on when you arrive. Doing the rounds to turn them off at night can make you feel like you’re a butler in a mini mansion. And figuring out exactly how to switch them all off can take forever with their confusing, hard-to-turn or downright non-existent knobs. What happened to a good old lead switch?

From tugging at a series of strings in an attempt to adjust/close/open blinds to wafty-pathetic-excuses for curtains, attempting to stop the world seeing into a hotel room holds all manner of challenges. And don't get us started on curtains with an irritating gap in the middle. That little shard of light will inevitably have us up with the larks.

Some hotel beds are huge – in fact they're big enough to sleep a small family. But find yourself in the middle and you’ll undoubtedly discover the gap. Lots of hotels push two single beds together to make one. Without a decent mattress topper, you’ll find yourself sleeping on a rather niggling ridge if you roll into the centre. Worst still, the beds may even roll apart and you’ll find yourself suspended in a strange kind of hammock.

When we see a bottle of water in our room, unless there’s a price tag on it, we’ll assume it’s complimentary. But all too often we’ve been charged extortionate fees for a bottle of water at check out. Apparently there was a sign somewhere in the room listing charges, albeit it so discreet that no one noticed it.

You’ve decided on your hotel mostly for its exceptional spa and pool. Or opted for the slightly less central one as you've heard great things about its restaurant. You're all prepped for a post-journey dip only to find the pool is closed for maintenance. Perhaps you’ll have a nice massage instead? Nope, the spa is fully booked for the duration of your holiday. A soak in the bath it is, then. And with the restaurant closed for refurbishment you'll have to trek into town for dinner instead...

When it comes to in-room technology, we’re pretty much happy as long as we have free and fast Wi-Fi in our rooms. But some hotels still insist on charging hefty fees for in-room Wi-Fi and to add insult to injury, it's too slow to stream or upload photos. If most pubs and little cafés are able to offer a fast and reliable service for free, why do some hotels still charge it as extra?

When it comes to irritating fees, being charged corkage is another. You’ve had drinks at the bar and eaten at the hotel restaurant most nights, but on the last one you decide to share a nice bottle of wine in your room. When you get the bill the next day you see a £15 ($18) corkage fee on your room bill. Yes, it might have been in the small print, if we read it, but after the price we’ve paid for our stay, it seems a little churlish to us. And we even used the bathroom glasses…

You know your hotel is more 'bijou' than 'boutique' when there's only enough floor space for one open suitcase. You could unpack, of course, but then there is nowhere to store your empty case. Even in roomier hotels, you're inevitably only given one luggage rack to keep a case on. This handy piece of kit is hot property, freeing up floor space and saving you from kneeling down to rummage through your case.

Unless you’re away on business, hotel stays should be about relaxing, turning the alarm clock off and enjoying that super-king-sized bed for as long as possible. So being told you have to be up and checked out by 10am is pretty disappointing to say the least. There goes that lazy morning and late breakfast, unless you pay for a late check-out of course.

Hotel breakfasts can be both incredibly expensive and confusing. Are the breakfast bar and cooked breakfast options both included in the room rate? Or is the latter extra? And why is our cappuccino extra but an espresso not? Please be clear before we order so we don't let our gluttony get the better of us and get hit with a hefty bill when we check out...

Hotels can be annoying places for solo travellers because you're often charged a single supplement when you stay in a double or twin room. This is justified by establishments as they charge guests a set room rate. However, on the flip side, it's also commonplace to be stung with an extra charge for having a child sleep in a double room.

We’re tired and ready to crash out but before we hit the sack we have to find the bed under that mini mountain of scatter cushions. Then we’ll spend the rest of our stay moving said mountain of cushions from one corner of the room to the other. As these cushions are unlikely to get washed often (if at all) and spend most of their time on the floor, we'd really rather not have them on (or in) our bed.

What is it about showers that hotels find so hard to get right? From a pathetic drizzle to a thundering cascade, there seems to be little in between. A non-adjustable shower head is quite frankly poor planning and the likelihood of the shower springing a leak, so you have to use up all your towels mopping it up, is pretty high.

OK, so we’ve covered showers, but we have plenty of other bathroom niggles to vent about. The lack of soap dish, so the soap slips around the sink, is a common gripe. And push-down sink plugs that fail to work are another. While bathrooms with multiple doors, so we walk in on our other half on the toilet or vice versa, are a sure-fire passion killer. And what's with the bidet? Does anyone actually use them?

Is it a nightclub, members club or hotel? And who actually works here? Some cool hotels are downright confusing. From overly discreet entrances to super-glam staff wafting about in the latest designer gear doing their best to ignore guests, many design hotels have an air of exclusivity that just doesn’t sit right with us. It’s still the “hospitality” industry, after all.

Decent-sized and well-priced family rooms are few and far between. Some hotels offer families adjoining rooms, which can be ideal with older kids, although expensive. While in many hotels, a super-expensive suite is the only option and even then some simply open up a sofa bed for the kids to sleep on. When it comes to travelling as a family, it’s often a far better idea to opt for an apartment instead.

The word “boutique” has been a hotel buzzword word for several years now. So much so that its overuse sends a red alert. Any hotel that uses the word “boutique” within its name, for example, is more than likely no such thing. It's probably either a hotel chain masquerading as individual and independent or an independent that's actually just small and poky with aspirations.

Read more: Time warp hotel rooms: untouched stays from a bygone era

The turndown service continues to perplex us. It always seems to happen when we’ve returned to our room and are relaxing or getting ready for dinner and would rather housekeeping didn't come in. We don’t need any help getting our bed ready (after all, we’ve already chucked the surplus of cushions off) and can do without a free chocolate just before bed, thanks all the same.

Now discover the secrets the travel industry doesn't want you to know

We don't want to be mean, but do we really care if our towels have been lovingly crafted into swans while we've been out for the day? No, we don't. In fact, it's actually a bit annoying. We just want a clean, fluffy, and flat towel that we don't have to shake back into shape. And, while you're at it, don't spare the bathmats for that inevitably leaky shower.

Now check out the surprising secrets hotel staff aren't telling you