37 surprising insider secrets of the cruise industry
Life on the high seas
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Crew food isn't always that great
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Passengers will pile on the lbs
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While the crew food might be lacking, a combination of the unlimited buffet, specialty restaurants, exotic cocktails and a lack of exercise (despite the onboard gym) means most guests disembark heavier than when they arrived. According to Cruise Reviews, the average weight gain for a seven-10 day trip is five-10 lbs. There's food on offer 24/7 after all.
You might have to step on the scales
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A toilet blockage can spell disaster
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Water is precious
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Cruising isn’t green
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Ross Klein’s 2008 book Paradise Lost at Sea: Rethinking Cruise Vacations cited that the carbon footprint of a cruise liner is three times greater per head than a Boeing 747. Surfrider.com reported that a ship with 3,000 passengers plus crew generates a million gallons of grey (used) water; 210,000 gallons of sewage; 100,000 gallons of toxic waste; and 50 tonnes of rubbish weekly. Cruise lines usually have internal environmental programmes, but that doesn't mean they are environmentally friendly.
The waste might damage marine life
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Crew/guest romances are out...
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...but crew/crew hook-ups are in
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There are surveillance cameras everywhere
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There are prison cells on board
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Drug smugglers almost always get caught
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Illnesses can spread like wildfire
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Medical care is very expensive
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There's an onboard morgue
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People do go missing
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The ship won't wait if you're late
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The same goes for the crew
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There are amazing discounts on port days
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It's also the best time to head for the pool
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The captain's quarters are pretty huge...
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...but crew cabins are not
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The captain isn’t always sailing the ship
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Like commercial airlines, ships are often on autopilot. Technically, this means there’s not always a human steering the ship. Don’t panic though, because there are always several officers on the bridge (the area where all the ship’s controls are located), even if the captain isn’t there. During stormy weather and when the ship is manoeuvring in and out of port, the captain is always at the helm. Here are 29 things only cruise ship captains know.
Sea sick bags mean bad weather ahead
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Sometimes the ship leans over on purpose
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Cruise liners can – and do – catch fire
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When it comes to fire, being surrounded by water may give many passengers a false sense of security. Fires on ships aren't uncommon; cruise expert Professor Ross Klein testified before the U.S. Congress that there were over 60 cruise ship fires from 2009 through to 2013. It is for this reason that a team of crew members are trained specifically to fight fires on board.
Every single crew member has an emergency role
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There aren't technically enough lifeboats for everyone
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Though ships have come a long way since the mistakes of the Titanic, there are not enough lifeboats on most cruise liners to carry all the guests and crew. It's actually a combination of lifeboats and life rafts that have the capacity to get everyone off the ship safely. The rafts inflate automatically in water and take up much less space, making them easier to store and deploy quickly.
Life on board can be hard
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Crew members might play practical jokes on you
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Crew members aren't always sober...
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Seven-day working weeks and no overtime means crew like to let their hair down at any available opportunity, and the crew bar is a prime place for such activities. Drinks are cheap, and the staff manning the bar often pour extra large measures – they are serving their mates after all. There are also regular crew parties, which often have a theme, meaning the crew get extra creative with their costumes.
...but they might get breathalysed
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Even though most cruise ships operate a crew bar, every cruise company has a set blood alcohol limit for both off and on duty crew members, to ensure crew are always able to carry out their emergency duties. If someone is breathalysed and they blow over the limit, there’s usually a zero tolerance policy. It's rare for security to do random checks, but if someone is being disruptive and is clearly well over the limit, they may as well pack their bags.
Discover the strangest things that have happened on cruise ships
Guest can bring their own booze
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Comment cards really count
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The entertainment is out-of-this-world amazing
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From aquatic diving shows to ice skating spectaculars (yes, there are ice rinks at sea), and everything in between, most cruise ships have something for everyone to enjoy. Cruise lines spend millions on developing concepts and hiring world-class performers so that guests can experience different entertainment on every night of their holiday. Some cruise ships even house full-scale Broadway musicals, such as Cats, Chicago, and West Side Story, so if you're a theatre fan, get excited. But before you set sail, read these 27 cruise hacks you need to know before you go.
Repeat cruisers get special treatment
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Most cruise lines offer a dedicated loyalty programme for returning guests. Staff are specifically trained to make sure they treat these repeat cruisers especially well. Your onboard room card usually indicates your passenger status, so when you flash it at boat drill or at the dining room, crew are probably taking note to see if you’re a regular. If so, expect extra-friendly service and some little perks here and there.
It's an amazing way to see the world
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There's a reason why so many people return again and again to vacation on cruise ships, despite the quirks. It's a stress-free way to see the world, with food and drink on offer 24/7, live entertainment and activities all day long. You get to see so many places that many people could only dream of. So, if you've never cruised, maybe it's time to give it a try.
Love ships but prefer to stay on land, check out From Mayflower to Titanic: the world's most historic ships you can visit
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