We’ve all had good and bad experiences while travelling, whether it’s an excellent hotel, a lousy restaurant or rude airline staff. Fortunately, peer-to-peer review sites like Tripadvisor offer a chance to read what others thought about the experience before you book. Here we take a look at some of the most scathing travel reviews and the best management responses, from plain rude to utterly bonkers.

Unsatisfied with his experience, Tripadvisor user Shoaib H. took to the review site to list everything that upset them, from a damaged jetty to the lack of an iron and an ironing board in the room. “Not a clean hotel, not cheap, drinks not included,” they wrote, saying that even water wasn’t included in the half-board they paid for and that staff were constantly trying to sell extra experiences.

The general manager of the hotel responded with an admirable calmness and explained that ironing boards are available on request, the water is complimentary, available in the rooms and on the beach, and the jetty was damaged during a recent storm. He finished his response by writing: “As per your Tripadvisor profile, I understand that you are not an easy person to please as 10 of the 13 reviews are classified as terrible. However, I am pleased that our banana bread was appreciated and left some positive impact on what seems to be a bad experience at Shanti.” Touché.

After a stay at The Georgian House in Glasgow back in 2013, Tripadvisor user frenk11 decided to leave a review and warn potential customers of apparent urine stains and holes on the bathroom floor, and a lack of clean towels that await at this guesthouse.

The management’s response was short but definitely not sweet: “With only one person to look after the place what do you expect. Think about what you paid.”

For Andrew E. and his partner the last leg of a trip to Scotland turned out to be so disastrous he decided to take to Tripadvisor to express his feelings: “The bed had a dip in the mattress supported by some wood on the floor, the toilet when flushed made a sound akin to a Spitfire engine starting up and overall it was very cramped. We both looked at each other, made our excuses and left leaving behind the deposit which, on reflection, was a wise move.”

The hotel owner resorted to sarcasm by saying that “I am happy that you found my wife friendly [..], Maybe that is why we earned two stars instead of one!”, which was followed by a history lesson on Spitfire engines. He then finished his response by suggesting the guests return for another stay (at full price) so that “we can sit in the toilet together and thrash it out!”

In what might be one of the most surprising guest-management exchanges on Tripadvisor, user Gracie L described hers and a friends’ stay at the Franchise One Hotel as more than disappointing. She claimed that staff would enter their rooms even if no housekeeping was asked for, and that some of her cash was stolen.

Instead of trying to resolve the complaint, the general manager of the hotel called the girls “professional scammers” and claimed that they used the two rooms for “bogus wedding preparations” and had friends coming and going all the time. He then finished his response by saying that the hotel staff had offered to file an official complaint with the police but the girls refused it and demanded their money back.

In a review titled “Looks like a building from Chernobyl on the outside”, Tripadvisor user NoneOFYobizness said Clayton Hotel Silver Springs in Ireland looked like it was decorated when “a former Hollywood actor was president of the USA”. They also complained about a bath that didn’t drain and the lack of air conditioning in the room. Their experience didn’t get any better come morning: “I asked for coffee with my breakfast. I waited. I ate. The same person cleared a table beside me. They served 2 tables opposite me. I finished. I left minus coffee.”

In a reasonably apologetic letter from the hotel’s general manager, he refers to the guest’s unwillingness to talk to management team because “most of the time they cause the problems”. He continued with: “Unfortunately when a review starts by comparing the hotel to one of the greatest man made disasters and loss of innocent life of the twentieth century I am unsure as to how my efforts to find a resolution would have proceeded.”

Tripadvisor user Guest55334 described this hotel as “loud, overpriced and smoky” and claimed she and her husband were given the worst room in the hotel. She said it was close to the parking lot and the hotel’s office, so there was constant noise outside that kept them up all night, and the air conditioning “sounded like a little kid banging on a steel kettle”.

Instead of apologising for a less-than ideal hotel experience, the general manager decided to focus on the couple’s private life: “When I spoke with you the first time, I was under the impression that you were mad at your husband for dead-bolting you out of the room for hours. I did ask you if there was anything that we could do and you yelled, "NO!" as you were walking to your car to leave him.”

After a less-than satisfying Easter Sunday dinner, one Tripadvisor user took to the review site to express his disappointment, writing: “The beef was good, the lamb was terrible and over cooked and felt like eating a old flip flop, the chicken was not roast and turned out to be pan fried chicken strips that had been overcooked and dry to the point of nearly choking on it absorbing any moisture you had in your mouth.”

The owner responded by calling the reviewer “an obnoxious and very rude person” and asked him to “go elsewhere and inflict your presence on some other poor unfortunate restaurant.” That’s certainly one way of dealing with criticism.

After a visit to Cafe 52 in Aberdeen, Tripadvisor user injured2015 complained about his colleague being cut by broken glass as well as the restaurant’s lack of first aid kit essentials, and their failure to offer any form of compensation. “We are in the business of training managers and customer service and what we experienced would not have made the grade,” he said.

In a response, that was widely circulated in many Scottish newspapers, the owner of Cafe 52 refused to accept that the guest’s account of the events was true: “Your colleague’s leg suffered a half-inch scratch from a broken glass that hit the floor. [..] Your colleague was tended to immediately and a drum of antiseptic wipes (contents 200) were put on the table [..], The alleged victim was offered a choice of plasters, however we were out of ‘Does this plaster match my outfit’ variety, so it was either skin coloured plasters or those bright blue ones.” He finished his side of the story by claiming that the reviewer “started feeling my back side” after having too much wine.

Popstony’s review, titled “Very disapointing” [sic], of Pinnacles Restaurant in Seahouses, Northumberland, claims that their “haddock was encased in soggy batter and the chips were like eating cold hard potato chips”.

The chippy didn’t take this review well, doubting the authenticity of it and calling the reviewer a “weak minded individual”. They also refused to accept that the food they served might have been of poor quality and finished by writing: “The really disappointing thing is your inability to spell the word ‘disappointing’ in your disappointingly lame headline. Must do better.”

In this one-star Tripadvisor review, user John K. complained about the rude staff at Bruno’s 7 to 7 American Diner in Edinburgh: “We heard yelling from one of the chefs, while on the phone, saying things like; bull**it, fu**, cu*t, etc. The owners need to choose better staff.” He also said that the food didn’t have any taste and was low quality.

The owner of the diner, known in Edinburgh for dismissing bad reviews and claiming they come from competitors trying to ruin her diner’s reputation, said: “I appologise that you heard the chef swear when you were eavesdropping and I don’t think you can call this being rude. As for the food being low quality and tasteless, as you say......... it is in your opinion only.” What a charming response.

The couple who wrote a review titled “FILTHY, DIRTY ROTTEN STINKING HOVEL RUN BY MUPPETS!” decided to stay at this hotel because it was advertised to have ‘ample parking space’, which apparently wasn’t available at the time of their arrival. They said nothing in the room worked, from hot water taps to the kettle, and when hotel staff said it would be taken care of in the morning, it wasn’t.

What no one really expected was the hotel’s response. A few week’s later the couple were charged a £100 fine by the Broadway Hotel, who reportedly told them it was the hotel’s policy to charge guests who left bad reviews.

Oliver Beale’s letter addressed directly to Sir Richard Branson went viral in 2009. After flying from Mumbai to Heathrow in 2008, Beale took to pen and paper to creatively express his disappointment. “Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at the hands of your corporation,” he wrote.

Describing his in-flight meal as having "more mustard than any man could consume in a month,” and claiming that “the potato masher was obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird” led to a surprising result. His clever writing is said to have impressed Branson so much that Oliver was offered a job. It has also been suggested by competitors that the whole thing was a media stunt. Will we ever know the truth? Probably, not.