Opinion: travelling with kids can actually be relaxing

We're all told how to "survive" that flight, long car journey or airport layover with kids. But does it really need to be that stressful? Cathy Toogood says travelling with children doesn't have to be fraught with parental anxiety.

I waited until my first child was five months old before I took her away with me on a city break to Amsterdam. I was nervous. I’d read numerous articles on what I’d need to pack, how to make the flight stress-free and talked to friends about their coping mechanisms. I was fully expecting to have a terrible time. I didn’t.

There’s lots of valuable advice out there for family travellers and, with bloggers such as The Unmumsy Mum and Katie from Hurrah for Gin growing in popularity, parents now feel confident enough to admit that life with children isn’t always perfect. But I don’t think there’s enough written on the positives of travelling with your children or how a trip away with the kids can be fun and, dare I say it, relaxing.

A shift in pace

I’m not going to pretend that our family holidays are full of long, lazy lunches and lounging by the pool with the latest bestseller. And I no longer cram as many sights into a city break as I did solo. But, once I’d accepted this change in pace, I saw that it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Children can actually make a city break more pleasant as being forced to sightsee at a slower pace makes you notice things you previously would have power-walked past. On a recent trip to Verona, for instance, I had a baby and toddler in tow so was forced to prioritise the sights I really wanted to see, spent longer at them, and planned the rest of our day around coffee stops to feed my baby and walks to get him to sleep.

This resulted in a trip with a more leisurely feel and meant I saw more of the comings and goings of the day-to-day city than I may have done on my own. When the afternoon heat started to hit, we retreated to the shade of the Giardino Giusti gardens and played ‘I spy’ over cool drinks in an Art Deco café nearby. These were two of my favourite memories from our holiday and two things I wouldn’t have considered if travelling solo.

You’re a magnet for locals

Children are also a great conversation starter when you’re somewhere new. My blonde, curly-haired girl was a big hit on Paxos and friendly locals were keen to make sure she (and we) had a good time. I was given gifts for her, free food and ushered to the best places to eat, drink and go fishing as a family. We also met lots of interesting characters in the pursuit of a smile from our shy child who told us all about their lives and the island we were on.

And whether it’s solidarity from fellow parents or the fear of standing next to a screaming baby, I’m always amazed how generous the general public is when you have a child in your arms. On one trip I took to Amsterdam, I made the mistake of not pre-booking any sights for fear of things going horribly wrong.

I consequently found myself in a long queue for Anne Frank House when my first-born filled her nappy. I sheepishly asked to use the baby changing facilities before returning to my place at the back of the queue but I was cheerfully told to go back in by staff and fellow tourists – who said that life was too short to stand in a queue with a baby.

Early to bed, early to rise

But queues don’t tend to be a problem when you’re the first one in them due to an early riser like my youngest. His insomnia has led to us watching the sun coming up on a beach in Mexico completely on our own, getting the freshest pastries every morning on Lake Maggiore and managing to run 10km around Lake Garda before breakfast. Granted, I’d often take an extra hour in bed if offered it, but a human alarm clock does have its benefits.

The show must go on

I’ve had my fair share of disasters while away with the kids though, such as when our hire car was towed away in Italy causing us to miss our flight home. If this had happened to myself and my husband alone, we would no doubt have fallen out and sulked.

But, forced to behave like the adults in our group, we had to sell the positives of the situation to our children: “We’re lucky enough to have another night away!” “Let’s get one more pizza and make sure it’s the best yet…”And, as a result, the drama of it all was one of our daughter’s holiday highlights.

Rediscovering simple pleasures

And your holiday highs change when you have little ones to entertain. Without your usual routine and possessions, you’re forced to go back to basics and remember all of the things you once thought were fun.

For example, it’s pretty hard not to smile while jumping over waves with an over-excited toddler. And I didn’t realise how much my husband enjoyed making elaborate sandcastles until we first took our daughter abroad. Couple these activities with a slower pace and more snack breaks than you can shake a stick at and you’re practically on a yoga retreat… practically.

So, the next time you’re feeling stressed about taking the kids away, try to take a second and embrace all of the opportunities to relax. You can flop and drop on the beach again once they’re old enough to no longer want to come away with you. But for now, enjoy seeing your trip through a new set of eyes – and make the most of having an excuse to do all of the things that you can’t do as a self-respecting solo adult. Pool jumping competition, anyone?